Getting Taco-ee-stic!!!

Taco

When there is everything messed up in life throughout the week, weekends are the only ones that we look up to. A healthy weekend doesn’t guarantee good working week for an IT engineer. Neither does a good working week promise a peaceful weekend. Peaceful weekends have become as scarce as rains in Mumbai.

One such peaceful weekend on 24 October 2015 was chosen by me, for my beloved half. By the way it rained in Thane on 24th. Proves peaceful weekends and rains are scarce in Mumbai. Anyways, the least a housewife expects is spending time with. Thankfully shopping isn’t her core competency! Movie was just a mile away. Pyaar ka Punchnaama 2. No one punches anybody straight in the face but that is how it is named.

Ever since I entered the so-famous mall in the city of lakes, there were offers suspended everywhere except the free water-spout. Food is the only magnet that can attract a ferrous man like me. This flex banner of a popular fast food chain lures me with their offerings! “Tacos starting @ 35” and the rupee logo was placed somewhere around 35. I have always enjoyed this Mex Dish at my maternal aunt’s place… home-made…. the best of all. While she didn’t have that opportunity, I asked her to settle down with this chain’s offering for time being.

As you stand in front of the woman taking order and before her billing unit screeches, she greets you with a smile. Wide enough to show at least 26 of 32. While she asks, “what would you like to order today, sir?”, sounding more mechanical than her billing unit. I am little surprised n think, whether I came here yesterday as well? No, and I fumble back to see what I have to order. There are some screens fixed few feet above the woman that have running displays of their offerings. While I am deciding which Taco to be ordered, I realized there was only one and rest are almost all wraps n burritos. And who is priced 35 with the Rupee logo around? None!

Gathering some energy from hungry stomach, I utter “the 1st one above!”. She punches something in the billing unit and it gives some beeps. Like it says, “F*** you” and like it beeped few times in the movie as well.

“Veg or Non-Veg?”

“One with Potato.” Always confuse people with the third option they haven’t thought of. Its fun.

“Veg. Okay. Would you like to have it normal or volcano?”

“What is a volcano?”

“It is spicy, very spicy!”

I look back at my wife and she hasn’t heard. Time to surprise her. “Volcano!” She would love it.

Few punches and beeps are heard.

“One drink is complimentary, would you like to order another?”

“No.”, while handing over crisp bills to her. A few more punches, beeps. Now the billing unit is screeching from pain of punches and oozing out white paper from its slit. The bill read 130 and rupee logo somewhere around 130. “Here’s your order sir and you may proceed to next counter.”

While moving to next counter, I quickly dive in the bill to see if I have ordered something wrong? Offer said Tacos @ 35. Flashy display (few feet above the woman) said 2 Veg Tacos and a drink @ 85. What is in the bill?

2 Lava Sauce – 20
2 Tacos & Pepsi – 85

56.00 VAT @ 12.5% = 7.00
49.00 VAT @ 25% = 12.25
105.00 S Tax @ 5.60% = 5.88
Total – 130

The order number is printed at bottom of the bill. May be in font 72 and bold nuff to be visible. The punching lady will still circle the order number with a glo-lighter, unnecessarily. Like she always wanted a glo-lighter in her school days and parents didn’t get her one. While at this job she has an opportunity to use it. Wholeheartedly. That woman gives you an empty glass with a lid and a straw piercing through it, to get a drink from the dispenser. Another lady places a plastic tray on the counter and keeps the Volcano thing – Lava Sauce, 2 Tacos wrapped in the paper, tissues. “Here’s your order sir!” Even before you accept it, she chucks you off her To-Do list on the touch screen.

You are now ready to calm down the hunger in you. Tacos tasted awful. The Lava thing was all dumb mix of vinegar with something. Not a thing worth after so many punches, beeps, screeches and interrogation. We happily enjoyed Biryani at Biryani House. Not to forget that the movie was too good. Pyaar ka Punchnama 2. Nobody punches anyone straight in the face but it’s just named like that…. 🙂

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