kaise mujhe tum mil gaye…???


(a click from our ring-ceremony organized on 26th may 2012, with family and close friends.)

so i think, i had done a good job un-dirtying my habitat-since-birth. momma realized, i was damn serious this time. not for the occassion though, but with the un-dirtying my habitat. there were more than one thoughts in my mind about this hilariously-serious-event which has repeated a lot of times. yes, bredren would agree if I say times have changed. reminds me of a small joke, which is pun-intended.

times have changed!
1970- beti ki shaadi karani hai, kaash koi achcha ladka mil jaaye.
2010- bete ki shaadi karani hai, kaash koi achchi ladki mil jaaye.

it all started about somewhere in 2009 or 2010, probly, when i found my parents getting serious about hunting my other-half, from the same world as mine. yeah, the thought was pretty hilarious for me coz the time has changed and how people have become materialistic. sometimes emotions are kept apart when taking decisions for life. i was entertained by this entire process of finding the better half. your parents attend some social events, family get-togethers > meet the old friends, long-lost-relatives > inquiring about what their kids are doing > checking for some prospect goat, to be halal-o-fied, in a roundabout way > exchanging contact numbers > talking over fone the very next day > know the current status of the goat, bit more in detail > plan to exchange horoscopes > approaching the pandit for matching the Horoscopes > with a go-ahead of pandit, its another set of phone calls to schedule the meeting time and place.

these matrimonial meetings is one of those comfortably discomforing situation. the families meet at a decided place > exchange greetings > everyone talks to each other > the gal and the boi, who are supposed to be talking more to know each other, are utterly silent. oh yeah, the eyes do the job of a scroller from an optical mouse. top to bottom, by both – the gal and the boi. finally after much of connect-the-dots game been played, the elders think they now know each others families very well. and there has been snacks and drinks served by now. it seems all of a sudden the elders recollect the agenda of meeting today. they then ask if the gal and boi can talk in, away from all of us? yeah, why not? so the gal and boi finally get some space, to be comfortably seated, some more space to keep a decent distance between them. and they do all the talking. while they have been talking, they have been judging as well each other, to the core. in sometime, they think they don’t have much to talk about. call off the meeting and move back to the noisy-silent-zone, amidst our families. the goodbye greetings are done with, “we will call you later and let you know the gal’s decision.”

the only thing that i liked about the change in this process was, gals and their families preferring visiting the boi’s place first as against the tradition of other way round, may be coz of housing issues in our homeland. i don’t have to travel much. no pains of hunting the address for the gal’s house. no sweat beads, no extra creases on the shirt after the middle-class travel in the mumbai locals or B.E.S.T. buses. but this time, it was only some frustration that has been building in my mind. the frustration was not for always been judged by wrong ones,but for the society, who always questioned me or my parents about me calling in the D-Day of my life. though i was always overjoyed from within, at being rejected for almost 10+ times or rather 15+ times by a gal. the pleasure of been dumped in trash is amazing at times. after you are dumped, you go happy with the thought that your personal space is still unharmed. my mind had finally decided something, after a thought process which lasted for more than 1 year or rather more than 365 sleepless nights- this would be the last gal that i would be looking out. if it works, good.

the resume and horoscopes are sent in to my parents by a close relative (very very close, indeed) > the pandit approves the match > meeting day is decided. the place was, my home for sure. i was rushing back to my home, in my office transportation. hurrying enough to have a shower before they land up > dress up decently in a formals (my preferred). a coffee-colored-trouser and a white shirt with mango-yellow decent stripes is what i get into. the worst part of such meetings is the punctuality. but i was lucky this time. was expecting them by 7 30 pm, they had reached by 7 25 pm. i am impressed. (i had bitter feelings for one of them who had assured of 7 30 pm but walked in by 9 30 pm. she was rejected deep in my mind, but grateful to almighty and the scars on my face- she rejected me much before i do.) all of the matrimonial process went smoothly till the elders reached a step before calling off the meeting. we were asked to do the talking in that silence.

we proceed > we HI HI > we talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk > nothing more left to talk, we finally move out. yeah, the first time ever probly i had spent about 30 minutes with someone whom i was meeting for the first time. the goodbyes happen and as usual i am been showered with questions from my parents about how is she?

the very first thing that comes to my mind, while attempting to answer their questions- what was it we were talking about, that took us about 30 minutes? can’t remember much but i put in my judgement-to-pass-the-question, about she been a nice gal and probly fit for our family. let’s wait if they nod a YES to our union. deep in my heart, i pray for getting rejected once again. the night is again restless, giving a thought- am i getting what i am expecting? can almighty ensure i am rejected again?

8th may 2012
the morning comes over and i am into my office, anticipating a compensation for my year long goals. a not-so-hefty-bonus and a hike in monthly pay. yes, i got something which was printed neatly on a letter head by about 4 pm. but i wasn’t much happy about it. or rather that paper hadn’t got the attention as much required. why?

a routine call from momma at 1 pm > to check if i had my lunch > a question in low voice, asking me about my compensation amount > i mention, i am yet to get that > she has her voice normal now to say, “its a YES from their side.” damn! the prayers to almighty didn’t work. “are you also OKAY with her?” is the question shoved in before i speak anything. this question chokes me completely and i have no idea of what i should be checking to confirm if i am OKAY with her? i ask for some time and i go back to my checklist.

she has no issues with my scars and extra kilos.
she has no issues with my not-so-good habitat.
she has no issues with my job in an MNC and the global volatility linngering around.
she has no issues staying in my family with a mom and dad.
she appreciates me, for being me.

ring back mom.
“need a second meeting before jumping to conclusion, just to reconfirm my checklist. this will help me to decide a OKAY from my side or not.”
“beta, if you call for a second meeting it would be considered a YES from your side.”
“isn’t there a scope of third meeting to conclude?”
“no beta.”
“fine. let me reach home and decide later.”

and the razor-sharp-conversation, this time.
“why are you taking so much time to decide, beta. are you into a relation? we can try to help you, if you have a relation without our knowledge.”
“nothing like that, mom. i never believed in getting into a relation. never had a liking for anyone.” (those hardcore family values that i am been injected with?)
“then? should we say a YES, if you have no relations / affairs?”
“fine. but don’t celebrate before we i nod a YES for her.”

9th may, 2012
after another restless night, i wake up on a new day. i am heading to office again. that casual check-for-lunch call and this time i am not asked for my lunch, instead instructed to reach home by time as they would be visiting today. the second meeting, zooms ahead of me. this time i am not enjoying the thought of how hilarious these meetings are. but amused by the thought, whats so interesting within me that this gal nods a YES? it is a decision for life, which is what i had clarified in the first meeting. i reach home on time and am pushed out again. i am asked to get a red-melon for the welcome drink, that my mom specializes into. drop the red-melon on dining table and head straight for a shower. a white shirt with short sleeves and a black jeans. despite the cold-water-shower, beads of sweat were building up faster than i could wipe them off. 2 of my paternal aunts and uncles, my only sister and jijaji were around me acting curious to know more bout our first interview. “i don’t remember anything” was me saying.

this time, they were late. by almost 60 minutes, probly reaching by 21st hour of day. i didn’t mind that. the usual pleasantries exchanged and this time the boi and the gal were left alone much quicker.

we proceed > HI now becomes HEY > holding our glasses of red-melon drink, we talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk > finally momma and sis interrupts to check whats happening and a casual chat with her as well.

i think we still had a lot more to talk bout but we were stopped, at 45th minute probly, with a question from momma- “are you both fine with each other? its a question of life.” she didn’t require a minute to nod a YES whereas i was second to nod a YES. hold! it wasn’t me to nod a YES. some heavenly energies had taken control of me and they shook my head in a YES.

so we both now have an extra momma, an extra papa and a brother and a sister after we said a YES. tears-of-joy rolling down the cheeks of both mommas. everyone moves to the drawing room, except my momma. she trails the last one moving, carrying 2 plates full of pastries, cakes and gulab jamuns. we were so close to each other but miles apart. everyone congratulating their to-be-bahu and stuffing her mouth with gulab jamuns and cakes. i was still watching her. i suspected if she really enjoyed those sweets? (she later claims she was suffocating as emotions were stuck in her throat as well.) no one ever bothered to check their BETA. with much a happiness of the day, they goodbyed and moved back in i20. back to home, i was again bombarded with a lot of questions from relatives. i was still under the influence of those heavenly boldies. i comforted myself by stuffing my mouth with one piece each of fruity-cake, butterscotch cake, dark chocolate cake and a couple of gulab jamuns. i accepted the fact that i had new direction in my life to travel- Disha V.

later i turn back to my relatives to remind them- “its 23rd hour of day. we can talk about this later.” they too goodbye us to move to their habitats. the last one to leave our place were my didi and jija. i was worried about arranging the house back and dropping in my bed to retire to sleep. in the process, it was the first minute of new day.

10th may, 2012. time- 00:01
there was a call on my cell phone. after receiving the call, i realize on the other side was my new father wishing me a happy birthday. quick enough, the phone was passed to my new mother and then new brother. last to wish me over the phone was, Disha. she found it tough to accept the fact that after accepting her birthday wishes, next i say- “good night. talk to you later.” i had hung up the call.

hanging up this phase of my life here… to write more bout it, later…

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8 thoughts on “kaise mujhe tum mil gaye…???

  1. As usual was lovely to read this…for a change this was a very integral part of your life. Im happy tat you both are fine with each other and the rolling tears of joy on ur mommas eyes will aways bring happiness and joy to your family.
    All d best buddy and may God bless u both….

    1. thank you willy for going through the entire post despite of being sick and busy with office. also thanks for the good wishes while i start a relation for life.

  2. Wish I could recommend a Pulitzer for the beautiful talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk

    Congratulations for earning a new set of mother, father, brother and a mate!

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