Ever heard people been happy for being unfriended? Unfriended by none other than a chic! A chic who herself claims to be hawt! Well, expect the unexpected with me! I was dumped or in true words unfriended on Facebook, may be long back. But realized it about 3 months back, when I was discussing it with another of my fraand. Dollar to Doughnuts, I am the chosen one by Almighty for all new things to be experimented in this World! I enjoy it too, coz if Almighty has planned it he has also considered my Security and my Destiny!
It was 09:00 am IST on 4th September, 2008. I was on my workstation…err… on my chair,in front of my workstation at Hamilton Building in Hiranandani Estate. An IM notifier rings on my Blackberry. Not once, not twice, but four times! Now it becomes necessary to check as it might be Kulwinder or Gaurav, pinging me on Gtalk. Pull it out of holster > unlock it to reach the home-screen > yes, the alert was for Gtlak > but it isn’t Kulwinder or Gaurav! I am invited to be friend with this IM id – Mysterious Gal! A thought to myself – so this is a gal! and mysterious as well! Who it might be? I still haven’t accepted invite. And I care to check for that reason, to add it to IM Buddylist. None of the gals that I knew from past 7 jobs, ever sounded that capable of handling such a mysterious IM Id. Let’s give it a shot! Add her! Added! And there you read her IMs to you.
mysteriousgal: hey im just new to this. its Grrr’s cousin. I just sent u a msg on ure scrap
Now Grrr is a person I know at my first job @ an Insurance company (back in 2004). Its just to avoid playing with his identity, I have to change his name to grrr while writing this blog! And she has sent me a msg on my scrap? Reminds me of my orkut account! True, when I check that, there is a scrap from this MysteriousGal. Now don’t ask me what was scrapped else I will have to scratch ma brains.
So I have to reply now.
me: K. But how can I trust u r his cousin? I used to work with him
mysteriousgal: ok. umm
me: And in a couple of days am going to get his cell digits
mysteriousgal: he has a younger sis named Srrr (name modified for identity sake). i think i have his mobile number but costs a lot to call all the time
You see, whatt-e-typical Taurean I am? Concerned about genuinely the mysteriousgal being his cousin? Or some fake gal who would later invite you to a Live Cam Show? I was also looking ahead to speak to Grrr, coz I got a note he works for another I-Bank, and may be I get an opportunity to be employed there? I had applied a couple of ma links as well to get his number! And so I tell her bout me getting his cell number soon. Now I have to trust that this mysteriousgal is truly a gal and no-live-cam-girl! Strikingly she mentions Grrr’s real sis’s name and you can confirm its right name! She also claims to have his number and I remember it started with 9833. So why not retrieve the number as welll from her? Another way to confirm if the mysterious gal is genuinely Grrr’s cousin?
mysteriousgal: Do you know Grrr?
me: Can I have his cell digits? I know Grrr.
mysteriousgal: Yes thats his name
me: he stays at dombivali west. Break the mystery tell me ur name N his numbers
mysteriousgal: i have not vistited his home there. My name is Brrrp. real name is Brrr.
mysteriousgal: but family call me Brrrp. did this Grrr live in Kalyan? im talking years ago
me: Naah! Since the time I know
mysteriousgal: when Grrr lived there it was in 1999
me: He is in Dombs
mysteriousgal: i last visit mumbai in 1999. im from Australia
Aah! There I get a new animal to explore from the land of Kangaroos, who is apparently a Indian chic. It was always fun exploring people from other countries. I got this weird liking since the time I was introduced to Facebook in about 2006 somewhere. Facebook wasn’t known in India at that time. Though me and one of my school friend got ourselves hooked up on Facebook. No one in our known ones was using Facebook, so we started adding people randomly suggested by Facebook. And we started talking to lot of people from US and Paris mostly. So I go back to think about when I had met Grrr the first?
I do not remember dates actually, but I can relate them to some of those significant dates of my life and co-relate the incident chronologically to conclude then exact date or closest date to the Original Event that I was looking for in first place. You see, my school friend’s Bday was on 15th August and in the year 2004 I missed to wish him. Why? Coz I was preparing for my job interview. And next day it was supposed to be the job interview day – 16th August 2004. I am selected for this job @ an Insurance company and are supposed to start next day itself as their training module starts. And next day I am introduced to whole of my team and one of them is Grrr. So with all co-relation-of-activities in chronologicals, I finallly answer her…
me: I know him from 17th august 2004
mysteriousgal: ok.. So maybe same one. Do you know Grrr? Or his other name xxxxxxx? he is my cousin3 related to Grrr
Now why do I care about how many cousins you have?
me: Gimme his number
me: Want to speak to him
mysteriousgal: 919833xxxxxx . Grrr works in bank now, i think
me: K. Not sure
mysteriousgal: can u call him now and ask?
me: Calling him
me: Ringing no response
mysteriousgal: really? try again. maybe he is at work, or sleeping not sure. let me prank him
mysteriousgal: i pranked with caller id on. dont think he will call me back as it costs alot fom india. He only has one younger sister if its the same one
me: He has a sis I know
me: And also its high business time here. Can we chat later?
mysteriousgal: yes sure no problems. nice chatting to you
mysteriousgal: hope u get hold of him
me: Same here
mysteriousgal: ure welcome
me: Will try to
End of the first day chat. You need to digest the facts – c is a Indian Origin, c is from Australia, c knows very little of India. and think about – why it was only you targeted even if Grrr had about 1000 friends on Orkut? The next day’s chat gives you the answer – coz you had written the best Bday message ever on Grrr’s Orkut Scrapbook… Toing!!! I might have copied it from somewhere. Coz the best Bday message I ever write to people is – Happy BDay, mr. Or ms. ________! But why do I clarify it? Just Thank for the compliments and let the fcuk go off! And I could get through Grrr in evening, and he claimed to be in some training since morning! Fair enough! Exchanging greetings and remembering those days of working together for that Insurance Company, I inquire bout current profile of his. He works as some Business Development Officer or something! Nothing technical and so has no idea of possible openings in Infra which suits me. Doesn’t serve the purpose but the chat goes on and on and on for some more days, until she gets busy about her some mid-year or full-year exams!
Now I was feeling my life getting a total fcuked up BPO kinda thing – she wants me to chat with her in an Australian morning, I work in an Indian Shift and I probably find time to write emails to friends in an American Shift, coz I was having my dinner in the European shift… Lolz! A total Global Support kinda frame-work! But I was fine about it until there is some exchange of thoughts happening without any live cam show-stoppers! You gradually come across fact that she has a relation with Thane (my city) and the only relation – mom was admitted to a Hospital in Thane and I was born! And when she was some months old, they have migrated to Au. Hmm, nice – is the only reply you have! For a few more chat sessions I am been interrogated and been judged. I am been informed am not a happening guy and just a good friend types. I am already aware bout it. Work doesn’t let me be that happening guy and I am miles away from that Happening-Holy-Shit!
Someday you see that this is moving ahead. After Orkut scrappping and Gtalk-ing, its extended to Facebook! I am added to Facebook Fraands List and been introduced to her Happening Shit. I am expected to go through pics and comment. Unspoken expectations of commenting something good bout her #TheGirlFactor! I deal with it my way now- few words used repeatedly and rearranged at every snap. “Goood one” or “One Good click”! You have to listen about some more family related stuffs without any questions from you. How the elder sister is stuck in a relationship which isn’t moving in any direction! How she is related to Grrr and that Grrr has a big crush on her and Grrr is deep-down-the-line her brother and she cannot hang out with him. She informs me of incests not allowed amongst Indians in Au, as if it was legally approved by Government of India. But whose gonna argue? Keep listening to things as they come out. If expected, suggest something as good as gunn down the culprit, a suggestion which can never be implemented. May be it was a relief, for a month or so, from the Australian Shift for me while she has some final university exams.
But do good times stay long? Take a break! Now look at what’s happening with the King of Goodtimes! Let’s fly back to Australia and you are now expected to go through pics of the vacation on some beach. As a common practice you click LIKE on few pics and comment on some more and leave some others as Not-Thaaaaaat-Good pics. But make sure you don’t hit LIKE on the pics that you’ve commented and vice-a-versa. The other way you are interrogated about not interrogating why c hasn’t uploaded any of her Bikini pics when she was out for a vacation at a beach? As if I was fancying her? Or did I care to look at that extra fat on her belly? And its again self justification- my parents wouldn’t like, if I add my bikini pics there on FaceBook! And my answer is uninteresting. My answer was- ok!
Amidst all of these gtalking sessions, I am suddenly expected in Au to setup my career and that Government Supports Talent from abroad to migrate to Au. And I have clear no plans to move to any place out of India or probably out of Mumbai – #MumbaiAddict. I face some brunt about India been a land of corrupt minds and not a safe place for citizens from her. I would agree to some extent for the Land of Corrupt Minds or toppers in Corruption and few more things like it. I probly got an good way to inquire if Au Government is actually supporting Indians and then why is it that Indians are a target of Au Junta and been slaughtered? She has no clear answer bout it and that’s why she is setting up some campaign on Radio for appealing to Govt of Au. And I never cared about asking for the outcome of it! Its almost a year now, we have been talking. And 3rd August or someday in August, happens to be her Birthday. You don’t feel like giving your way of wishes on her facebook wall. So you just send a Facebook Message about “Happy Birthday, Brrrp!” Now suddenly you get that place of a good friend who should always write on wall. So she can show up some good friends from India to her Au friends, just because she has some arguments with one of her White Friend there! But I check out if I was now a really happening friend to be showed off on Facebook to all of those Au friends? She feels poked, whereas I have rarely used POKE button on facebook for her. And this leads to a long silence of about 2-3 months.
I felt this was amazing to play back and vex her as much as she does to me. Its vexing guys, do not mistake it for waxing! Though both bring pain- vexing to mind probly and waxing to body! And now we are talking again? Just coz she wants me to comment about her pics, that were clicked on her sister’s Hen’s Night? And I clarify, its not my thing! Men have a pure Bachelor’s night out so why should I comment upon Hen’s night pics? Vexed again? Hurting you? It did me as well, when u mentioned about me being a part of un-happening category or more hurts when you tag this country, where I live, a Land of Corruption. I’ll forgive coz I come from Land of Forgiveness as well! I comment – you’ve added more weight. But looks nice on you! You feel more vexed and you keep up the silence for more 2-3 months. Blissful moments for me!
But you can’t be silent for long! You come crying over again, about your boyfriend ditching you, when given a choice between you or his parents! Vex it again, dude! Remind her of the advice \ caution I had given, as I was a so-tagged-by-her-just-a-good-friend and it was mandatory for me to review him and suggest something about the relation to her, when she was trying to introduce me to his coolness and happening shit! To make up your broken mind, you now need to hire a Stretched Limo on hourly basis > which has a bar > but you don’t do Alcohol as you are an NRIndian > but just feel like spending good time > after you are tattered to rags by him! And I am expected to comment again bout the Limo pics on facebook? Now I really don’t have any time left to even vex those new burns of yours! Loads of work and tasks ahead of me @ office.
The silence continues until it continues to be somewhere June 2010! Silence breaks when sharing the joy of owning a new Mazda Sports car! The deal worked against an old Hyundai Elantra gifted by Dad in 2005! And remaining amount is funded by a bank as now she has a good job of some management or psychology. Here’s your chance, dude! Vex it up again, with all the family values or values missing in her about valuing your dad’s gift and not scrapping it because its an old Elantra. Wow! I get a whole lot of backfire! “You Indians are just another bunch of shit! Am happy am not an Indian but am into Au. Always would be in Au as an NRI. You Indians only like to spit everywhere that red water. You rarely care for the country. And keep looting the people under the names of various taxes. No good health care system……….” You got a wholesome chance of vexing me for another 5-10 minutes. You must be feeling light? Me too! Coz I have a way to deal with it. Exit from that Gtalk window and log-off, for some time! Oh sorry! It was MSN! Just coz Gtalk isn’t popular in Au, I had got an MSN account for myself! And I have my another plan ready bout vexing or probly just treating the thing!
Silence! It works amazing! Its probably a teaching from ages or from the times when Mahavir was Mahavir. With the practice of Silence probably he achieved heaven to be now known as Bhagwan Mahaveer! Not that am aiming for heaven, but this hell-o-fied earth can be a heaven if you follow silence. After silence for, may be a month or so, c is back on MSN! “HI” is what is IMed. And withing seconds, “What are you doin?” I don’t find a point to reply back and tell what I am doing as that would anyways sound uninteresting. After another 30 minutes or so, “why you aren’t replying?” And that’s where you jump to reply back – “after so much of ranting over India and Indians, do you expect me to reply?” “Hold on dude! Be a man! Do not reply!” says the other part of me, who was wikidly excited! And there is no communication. She logs off and I continue and so does the silence continues for some more months and there is a “HI” again on MSN. This time, no second IM for me after that HI. I press Esc key and I am happy again!
Somewhere in December 2011 or Jan 2012 (maybe I have to check my itemized cell phone bills for the exact date, by relating to one of the longest call to this friend-of-mine which lasted for 21 min and 23 seconds!) We were discussing Brrrp! It gave me a thought, no status updates since long time from her, though it was once-in-a-month activity, when Au gets really high on humidity! Invokes you to do a Facebook Search in name of her. You find her in the same Profile Picture, which you LIKEd once and commented as well. And the option of “Add as Friend” is visible! That’s when I realize, why my life has been better!
So basically you shove some shit in me about me being an Indian or anything about India, and I would return you the same with my version of silent treatment till you are wrecked down to pieces!